< by Brennan >

This is the first time I told a girl I loved her, on a night in college when I was out with the guys and she waited up for me.  She said it first, and it helped me overcome my fear of saying it to someone, of opening myself up.  This is my First Love.

Growing up, it was easy to tell girls that I liked them. Via note, instant messenger, a phone call.

But when like needed to turn to love, it never felt right. The timing, the feeling, the emotions; something was missing that I knew was essential to say.

“I love you.”

Saying it before I was ready would cheapen it. I wanted my moment of truth, that realization that this was someone I wanted to share myself with. So that only they could see.

And “I love you” feels exactly right. It becomes all you want to say.

I told her I would be back early in the night; it was just some guys goofing around, playing video games. It wouldn’t be long.

One game after another, more drinks, and suddenly it was three. Four. Almost five in the morning. Still she waited, her texts and calls becoming disheartened.

She waited for me. When I came to her, she was hurt that I had cheapened her time, made her feel like she was no better than guy time.

And she showed me what I had been missing all this time — what it was to say “I love you” with whatever frustration, excitement, energy you have at that moment. To embrace the person you are saying it to, swallowing them up with the feeling.

She said “I love you,” and I knew it was right for me to say it back. My fear of saying it melted away. For the first time in my life, I knew that I could say it and mean it.

I love you.