a breakfast serial

One bite-sized story every morning to uplift, motivate, or provoke thought.

sunday setup 11/4/12: campaign stories

< by Jill >

This weekend I watched “The Campaign” starring Will Ferrell (as Cam Brady) and Zach Galifianakis (as Marty Huggins). Although I wouldn’t see it again, it successfully parodied America’s campaign process. Cam dished out an original batch of Bushisms (each one punctuated by America! Jesus! Freedom!), and Marty peppered his stump speeches with the rhetoric of a God-fearin’, gun-totin’ guy-next-door. They exemplified your average red-state baby-kisser.

In one scene, a crew of campaign advisors descends upon Marty’s home to give it — and Marty’s entire family — a makeover. The Mrs. gets a Katie Couric hairdo, the fireplace mantel gets a portrait of an eagle, and Marty gets lessons in platform and spin. The subtle message: If you want to be a lawmaker, you need money, good looks, and big promises.

These are the unwritten rules that govern our nation’s political arena; the rules American kids unwittingly soak up throughout their lives. So is it any wonder that when I ran for student council in first grade, I wore Zubaz and vowed to fill all the drinking fountains with pop? No, it’s not. Sure, I had a fundamental misunderstanding of how drinking fountains worked, but then again, many real elected officials have a fundamental misunderstanding of taxes, marriage vows, etc.

Unfortunately, I didn’t win — a girl named Amy did (her mom happened to be the PTO president). Which reminds me: If you want to win, you also need clout.

Unfazed, I ran for office nine more times during my school years. If you want to know how those elections turned out, you’ll have to tune in for the rest of the week.

This week’s theme: Campaign stories (America! Jesus! Freedom!)


  Larry Who wrote @

Clout versus soda pop…I would have voted for you if you would have included no more veggies for hot lunches.

  abreakfastserial wrote @

Haha! Thank you. I know I would have served the student body quite well 🙂

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